Personal Essay: Manhood Manifesto by Austin Catania

What do you envision when you think of a man? Is he lounging on his yacht, smoking his pipe by the fire, or tinkering on his car?  Do you picture the complete opposite of yourself in which you can only hope to become? The secret is, manhood is an honor you do not instantly attain and to become a man you must spend years mastering the art of manliness. Outlined below are the surefire steps to positively enter manhood, but please note all steps are necessary and wavering from the directions will set a terrible precedent for the rest of your life.

Manhood 101. One does not simply become a man without chopping wood. You must in fact only use an ax to do so, for doing otherwise embarks you on a path that no real man can save you from.  The only exception to this rule is clear cutting a small forest with your bare hands. Naturally, while you are at it, you will decide to build a log cabin and like any man would, you invite your friends over to bask in all its glory. Once complete, with even more testosterone amongst the air, the rest of your day is composed of hunting and fishing. Upon successfully wrestling a grizzly bear with solely your raw masculinity, you decide to call it a night. 5:00 A.M. wake up. Take a cold shower. No baths. Look in the mirror, trim your mountain man beard, and ask yourself, “Who's the man?” 5:55 A.M. mount your motorcycle and propel yourself to the gym. Be tough. Commence boxing and throw a right hook. Remember never give up, take a left jab to the nose and feel the blood streaming down your throat. Releasing a flurry of punches and attacks, you end the match in the fifth round. Knockout. 6:45 A.M. Triumphantly you head to the locker room, put on your suit, head to work and bring home the bacon. 
So, are you a man now? Does merely your brute, hulking body make you a Buchanan man, more strapping than the rest of us? Or does part of your masculinity lie elsewhere, perhaps in your mind? Your transition from childhood to manhood is not only a physical development, but rather a mental one too. A real man is educated in at least one area of expertise. A real man embraces learning like trees embrace the sun. Without sunlight the tree’s death is inevitable, and for the man the lack of knowledge leaves his brain weak and naive. The absence of knowledge abandons you to become susceptible to the ills of society and grants the possibility of traveling down a dark path. However the man code you should follow eliminates that possibility. For it is your obligation as a man to help guide your brothers back to the light. A real man also shows respect towards women and becomes their gallant companion. Rarely faltering from their gentlemanly persona, a real man understands its ok to make mistakes. Your steadfast honesty with your partner proves rewarding in the grand scheme of life, leaving your conscience free to dwell on the irrefutable love that is cast inside. Suppressing your emotions does not make you more of a man and bottling up your feelings up leads to self-deprecation and the gradual decline of your own morale. So, what are you truly supposed to emulate? Your rough and tough exterior or your sensitive heart? Or do you need both, or neither? Perhaps all you need to do is be yourself, for “to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” (Emerson). Just remember you are not alone in your journey to manhood, as our forefathers’ forefathers successfully have made this trek before us. Good luck, and be manly.